introspection, pain, philosophy, Politics, Uncategorized

A Valid Voice

Don’t be afraid of being wrong, be afraid of living life without a voice.

Conversation and debate is tricky. There are usually an intense amount of emotions present in intellectual discussion, which warps everything out of control. It makes having a truly enriching discussion very evasive. I filter what I say, and even what I think, based on the perceptions of others and the mainstream. I think more people do this than would readily admit, again, because therer is an ego to protect. In my life I have been domineered into subscribing to points of view politically, religiously, and in every opinionated category that exists. The way our beliefs shape up are largely based on how the environment around us shapes us.

My point with all this is not to tell people not to have an ego. You just can’t abandon your ego. Pride drives people, and it drives me. What I’m saying is, that I want to be in the conversation. I don’t mean just talking about things, I mean, I want to formulate my own opinions instead of regurgitating others’. I want to use my voice, and I cannot use my own voice if I do not have my own thoughts.

What I’m saying is, I’m okay with being wrong. I want to hear why I’m wrong. I want to change and grow, and I want to be challenged. I am okay with being disagreed with. I am okay with being devalued based on an opinion. What I don’t want is to not have an opinion. I have to have a voice.

art, introspection, philosophy, photography, spirituality

Value : Malleability

Malleability is something I’ve learned to appreciate in young adulthood. As an adolescent, I did not realize how many shifts in perspective lay ahead of me–I thought my formative years were coming to an end. I remember thinking that my core personality was already formed, and I was liking the idea of being an official adult and my subsequent logic that I was now to be a static individual with my values defined and my core self fully fleshed out.

I’m so glad that is just not true.

I’m growing everyday, and I don’t want to stop growing. I’ve changed what I believe in and shifted my point of view as I have gained more experience. It is quite liberating to admit that I have been wrong in the past! I can let those parts of me go and move on. As I let go of my old definitions, I am creating a new identity.

In the past, I have felt like I had to “stay true to myself” or not shift my course to maintain a sense of cohesiveness in my life. I once listened to a local motivational speaker who gave a very powerful presentation. He drew a long, horizontal straight line on a chalk board as a depiction of the course of life. He went on to say that there are so many things that happen on the timeline of one’s life. In adulthood and old age, we want to be able to look back and be aligned with our childlike selves–which he attributed as being the true, unadulterated version of oneself. It insinuated that one is born with an identity, and the value of aligning oneself to that, as a type of inner compass.

The message has beauty–it has meant so much to me for such a long time. But, life is no straight line. I don’t want to take advice from a younger version of myself. I don’t want to realign myself back to who I used to be. I don’t want to be a certain way, because of  what I used to want. I don’t my life to be restrained from revolution or metamorphosis. I want to change, and I will change as I get older. I may not recognize who I am today, five years from now. I have possibility and my future is wide open. I may have an idea, but I don’t know where I will necessarily be as a person.

I love this so much is because it gives me hope. The best is yet to be. The worst, too. I want life to surprise me. I want to impress myself. I do not want to get stuck in my ways, or become bitter and stagnant. I am not here to sit still.

I relearn it again and again. I love life.My formative years are not at an end, and I hope they never are. I love the experience each day brings me, and I see my time as a wealth. I am grateful to look back and feel renewed. I am grateful to look forward to an unknowable adventure.

Happy New Years 2016 everyone! Thanks for reading.

Julia Saxton

Photography Credit: Rachel Alexandria

art, introspection, philosophy, Poetry, spirituality, Uncategorized


When I consider all I’ve done
It weighs in with depth
Some sweet, somber feeling
Rises in my chest
I feel swathed in nostalgia
Time stretches, in a lapse
And overwhelmed I breathe
And linger on this dream
My life views like a stairwell
That traipses, wanders, walks
Without pattern, I am sketched
And hollow all throughout
But it fills me up, when I am here
And sifting through my memory
When I consider all I’ve done
It weighs in deep reminicing

Art credit: Briana Baxter

art, introspection, philosophy, Poetry, spirituality, Uncategorized

The Dreaming Age

Sometimes something special reminds me what it’s like to dream again. And it’s like this hidden emotion that gets forgotten until something lights it up. And I see it as clearly as I did when I was younger, and simpler, and when things were much more magical. And it overcomes me. I don’t have to work for it. The dream just comes back to me. And that is more poetic to me than anything I can explain.

I think those kinds of dreams happen in that intricate time when we are changing from children into adults. I think that at some special youthful interval we get a chance to be overwhelmingly complex and fearlessly hopeful. I would dream so deeply then. My dreams tend to be more technical now, and less beautiful, and less like dreams and more like goals. Without the magic and without the hope of undamaged youth. But sometimes I hear a special song and it takes me back, and I feel more like myself than ever before.


Intimate Solitude

She was quiet and happy and comfortable
And she loved feeling the fresh sheets wrap around her
The air was so calm
And her mind had it’s own space
The silence was not emptiness
The room was filled with peace
Her moments with herself
Mended her tangled mind
Without any busy thoughts
The stressors had loosened
And her sleep was so deep