love, relationships

Crush

Like giddy
Like stupid
Like bad
So good
Like curious
Like imagination
So much
Like bad
So good
So sweet
So nerved
So sinned
So much rush
Like bad
So good

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art, introspection, love, philosophy, photography, Poetry, spirituality

Passion

Something I cannot control
A force I cannot prompt
An individual organism of chance
An artistic form of fate
A leader of my heart
An energy misunderstood
Something with lucidity
A reason to believe
An example of religion
An amplified meaning
A piece beyond self
An exaggerated joy
Something I lay wait to

art, death, introspection, pain, philosophy, Poetry, spirituality

Secret Heart

Reality waves my soul
With pushing force
And strangles whole
I am drowning silver
Like lead falls so deep
I am calm and quiver
In languished, quiet sleep
But where I go
I follow
And in my secret heart
Am never hollow
Where I go
I follow
I burn in water
And in my secret heart
Can never be swallowed

art, introspection, philosophy, Poetry, Uncategorized

Small

I am not omniscient in my story
Not the author with all the words
Just a player in this journey
Just one chapter quietly heard

I do not make every mark
Have not witnessed each new scene
I weave around within my part
Abide within this grander dream

I like to think I know it all
And see throughout these several spheres
But the only world I can recall
Is what I glimpse and words I hear

And when I see that I am small
I see the cogs that interact
I know in times I rise or fall
Are remnants of a lace intact

introspection, pain, Uncategorized

Broken Bones

Feel all the air I breathe
The deep indulgent gasps I take
And shed a dawning tear
That sheds upon the fear I break
To open like a crevass’d cast
And crack within my tethered wake
Loving all my horror’d past
‘Till violently my tremors shake
And visioned like a hammer thrown
And crashing on my standing bone
So all the pieces pull apart
And shed the dirt and dig me up
Like everything, like sullen art
This broken wing, my sunken heart

art, introspection, nature, philosophy, Poetry, spirituality, Uncategorized

Quiet I’ve Found

It is the sound of a quiet room
And graphite in spiral-bound
It is the crick of the clock
As the seconds turn around
It is the fervent hum of air
Lightly rowing in the vent
It is the window whispers
Of crickets in their tents
It is leather on my chair
That cracks when I shift
It is light through my hair
As the lamp lights my grip
Of graphite in spiral bound
It strokes, bends, and slips
The shapes are like soft sounds
That bend in my lips
The feelings are like heavy pounds
That from my heart drip
And fill in this quiet I’ve found
As I silently sit

introspection, pain, philosophy, Politics, Uncategorized

A Valid Voice

Don’t be afraid of being wrong, be afraid of living life without a voice.

Conversation and debate is tricky. There are usually an intense amount of emotions present in intellectual discussion, which warps everything out of control. It makes having a truly enriching discussion very evasive. I filter what I say, and even what I think, based on the perceptions of others and the mainstream. I think more people do this than would readily admit, again, because therer is an ego to protect. In my life I have been domineered into subscribing to points of view politically, religiously, and in every opinionated category that exists. The way our beliefs shape up are largely based on how the environment around us shapes us.

My point with all this is not to tell people not to have an ego. You just can’t abandon your ego. Pride drives people, and it drives me. What I’m saying is, that I want to be in the conversation. I don’t mean just talking about things, I mean, I want to formulate my own opinions instead of regurgitating others’. I want to use my voice, and I cannot use my own voice if I do not have my own thoughts.

What I’m saying is, I’m okay with being wrong. I want to hear why I’m wrong. I want to change and grow, and I want to be challenged. I am okay with being disagreed with. I am okay with being devalued based on an opinion. What I don’t want is to not have an opinion. I have to have a voice.